Grasping for Truth

Dearest Readers,

I come to you today with confessions on my chest, and I am ready to expose who I am underneath this skin. I figured out that today was National Honesty Day, and I thought that was rather fitting for a blog post. As most of you know, I'm a very open book, but because I have a lot to say you might not understand me at first, or at all. Hopefully this post will answer some questions you may have. Perhaps it will also give you a better perspective of who I am as well as who you are.

One: I recently got my heart broken. Well, maybe not broken, just clumsily tripped over and stomped on. (Yes, I'm dramatic.) Granted, I shouldn't have given it to just anyone..but my judgment isn't that great. I put too much thought into it and became consumed with writing a love story when I was actually writing a cheap Maroon 5esque break up song. The good news is - I'm surprisingly okay. Sure, I'm bummed about it and ice cream does wonders.. but I haven't shed a tear. Maybe because in my twisted mind, I feel like it can all be sorted out and everything could go back to merrily bliss. I have to remind myself that I shouldn't be obligated to make every story have a happy ending. I'm just fortunate to have the personal strength to move forward, as well as my busy schedule to keep me distracted from dwelling in misery. I've shut the door, but the key is still in my hand..waiting.

Two: I've been struggling with some spiritual warfare. I've had a lot on my plate, and when I get lonely, I resort to talking to some very bad influences. I've had some temptations handed to me that I never would have had a year ago. I've even inserted some curse words into my vocabulary, and that just is not me at all. I try to keep it under control, but honestly I'm struggling. I haven't put God on my list of priorities and if church wasn't already a part of my schedule, I might never find time to get His Word in my heart daily or even weekly. Earlier today, I was talking to a friend, and I told them I was battling with some things and really acting out. They shrugged it off and told me it happens to everyone. Then they continued to say I was already headed down that path, why not continue down it, what more could happen?! I understood that what they were saying wasn't what I needed to hear and I halted the conversation. That was tough, but necessary. Please keep me in your prayers.

Three: I need motivation and encouragement. I'll smile and tell you I'm fine and great and just really busy. Don't believe it. Keep me accountable and help guide me to be the best person I can be. I won't want to hear it, but I'll keep my heart open to your words. Keep me productive as well. I've let laziness win far too many days, and that makes me sick. Prayers are appreciated.


Four: I feel better already..Thanks for reading.

God Bless,
Jenny J