Define the Line

"You're the best definition of good intentions."

Months ago I had to develop an attitude towards my friendships in order to protect myself and others from crossing the lines in friendships. This attitude is called my "I do friendly not flirty" policy. Honestly, I make a few exceptions to my rule because I'm young and have crushes..well actually only one crush, one exception. But besides that, I am naturally a friendly person especially when it comes to guys. I grew up with two brothers and could always instantly become friends with guys. I can discuss sports, politics, literature, you name it. I can also pretend I don't know anything about a particular subject if someone is more comfortable showing me the ropes or explaining something to me like they explain it to everyone else. I've always thought of myself as the "friend zone" girl that guys tell everything to and plead with to set them up with the pretty girls I'm friends with. Just like anyone knows, the friend zone is not always desired, but on the other side of the coin it can also be the safety zone. I won't tell you that guys and girls can be just friends, because I know this simply isn't true. But guys and girls can not cross the line and prioritize their friendship to look past simple attraction. They can also respect the other person's feelings and be gentle with them - keeping the friendship intact with no awkward occurrences. Flirting is a natural instinct, and as long as a person is not married, I'd say it's allowed. Be tactful, personable, and willing to accept the lines drawn. And guys, if it's me you're wanting to win over, be straightforward. I'll be honest with you, pinky promise! Good luck!

God Bless,
Jenny J

The Girl Who Exclaimed Best Friend

Friends. Everyone wants them, everyone needs them. What credentials qualify one to be a "best friend"? All of my life I have made it a mission to have a best friend. Someone who understands me, makes me laugh, calls me out when I need to be, and can accept me for all that I am. I've often become so wrapped up in longing for a best friend that I would just instantly start calling everyone my best friend. The problem with that is that if everyone is "The Best" no one truly is and it lessens the true meaning of what it means to be "Jenny's Best Friend." There are some friends that I have that as soon as I met them, we instantly connected. They're special friends, and that connection doesn't discount them, but does an instant connection qualify? I just don't know. There are some friends I have never met in real life that I talk to all the time and have the deepest, most thought-provoking conversations with; while they are incredible people, I'd have to say they can't possibly qualify to be best friends, if we've never met.. right? Then again there are those friends I have known all my life, fought with, laughed with, and maybe got in trouble with, but unfortunately I rarely see or talk to them.  Does length of time determine who is best?
Here's what I know. It's good to be friends with everyone. This doesn't mean buy them Christmas presents or wear friendship bracelets. It means saying "Hi! How are you?" even when you don't feel like it. It means honesty and loyalty. Trust me, gossip and backstabbing are the worst ways to lose friends, not to mention those behaviors just make you look silly. And I'll even say, if you do feel the need to talk about that person when they aren't around, tell others how awesome they are and how you appreciate their friendship and how they personally impact your life (This will be a good point of reflection and you might even realize how much they matter to you!) Friendship is about sharing a piece of your life with another. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself. People don't like to ask questions, so it's okay to share. Believe me, if they are making the effort to talk to you, they want to know at least something about you. I have a running joke that some of the people I talk to must be in The Witness Protection Program, because they never say anything personal about themselves. Seems silly, but so true! On the other hand, you have to be open to them and let them share too. Friendship is a two-way street and listening is crucial in the success of one.
I could go on and on about friendship but I won't bore you with my theoretical nonsense! I will end with this: Acquaintances, Friends, and Best Friends are all different terms for a reason, and you should have some of each. Be personable, cheerful and inclusive. Who knows, you could change somebody's life, just by a sprinkle of kindness.

God Bless,
Jenny J